It’s the end of one year and the start of another — the perfect time for New Year Resolutions, to set some goals for the year ahead and plan on being the healthiest, fittest, happiest and best version of yourself.
Sounds like a great idea, right? Wrong!
In this blog I explain why setting New Year Resolutions and goals can create the opposite effect to what you are aiming to achieve.
Well, think about it.
If you have to reflect on 2018, how many of your New Year Resolutions and goals from Jan 2018 have you achieved? Did you stick to all of them? Did you reach your ultimate potential? Are you the healthiest, happiest version of yourself and living your dream life?
And how does this make you feel?
Yeah, not great.
You feel like a disappointment… like a failure. Life hasn’t quite worked out as you planned.
On Facebook, your friends seem to be living their dream life and achieving great success, which makes you feel even worse.
Setting yourself up for failure.
At the beginning of the year, we all set out with big plans.
“For one month I will be vegetarian, and I will detox from all alcohol.”
“This year I will start my own business, become my own boss, and be a millionaire!”
“I will be fit by 40 and lose those 5kg that I have been trying to get rid of for the past ten years.”
Whether we have set our standards too high, created unrealistic goals or even reached our goal but then gone off the rails and binged afterward – often we are setting ourselves up for failure. We get to the end of the year – feeling tired, stressed, fat and guilty because we didn’t achieve our goals by December (and probably didn’t even make it to the end of January).
Goals to me feel like something we have to strive for, to work hard to achieve and to kill ourselves to get to the result no matter what. Often resulting in disappointment if it didn’t go the way we expected.
What if you can manifest all that you desire in another way?
What if you can create what you want in your life with less stress, little striving, and no hard work? I am not saying you don’t take action. You play a significant role in manifesting your dream life, and part of that is doing the ‘work’ – but it doesn’t have to be so hard!
Manifesting what you want in your life is about asking the right questions.
Download this ‘My Manifestations 2019’ Checklist to start your intention setting on the right track and see how the Universe unfolds to bring you your deepest desires.
Step 1 – Get clear on the feelings you want to manifest
We are told that when we are working with goals and the Law of Attraction, we have to get clear on what we want. I’ve done this many times. However, when getting too clear on the specifics we are not leaving any room for miracles.
The thing about being too rigid in our approach is that we forget that there is a bigger picture of our life and that we are not always in control.
So instead of focusing on the specifics rather tune in to the feelings? Don’t be too specific about what you want or how you are going to achieve it. Alternatively concentrate on the happiness, excitement or pleasure it will bring up once you have created your desires in your life.
Remember that your circumstances don’t matter. Your state of being does!
Step 2 – Be grateful for what you already have.
When it comes to manifesting, often we are always asking for more. But what about everything you ALREADY have?
The more grateful you are for what you have already manifested in your life the more you attract abundance. It’s a vibe thing! Stay in the space of high vibrations and see what a manifesting machine you can become. By doing this exercise, you may also realize that what you have is already enough. Instead of manifesting more ‘stuff’ you may want to actualize love and harmony for others… or world peace.
Step 3 – Don’t control the outcome.
After having a mid-life breakdown last year, then spending nine months in Bali to redesign my life, and having arrived back ‘home’ in Cape Town… a friend of mine asked me what my 5-year plan is. I laughed and said “I don’t even have final plans for New Year Celebrations… never mind for the next five years!”
For the first time in my life, I don’t have a plan. It’s the most freeing and liberating feeling I have felt in my life, ever!
Yes, I have a clear path on where I want to be and what I want to create in my life, but I don’t have all the answers on how I am going to get there.
We don’t know everything!
There are certain aspects of Life that we have control over, and many that we don’t. We don’t know how Life is going to unfold. Sometimes it works out better than we ever could have imagined or planned. So why keep ourselves small?
This time last year, I was dreading the new year ahead. I had way too much stress on my shoulders, and it was impacting on my body hugely. How were my businesses (yes, all 3 of them) and I going to achieve all that I had planned out to do? I had put so much pressure on myself!
Now, this year – after redesigning my life and letting go of everything that was weighing me down – I am so excited about how it is all going to work out. I know that it will!
I don’t know exactly where I will be living, who I will be sharing these experiences with, or how I am going to get my message to many… but I do know that I will be traveling the world, creating value and inspiring others to stress less and live more. I will be doing what I love and getting paid for it. I will be connecting with incredible like-minded people and feeling supported. It is essential for me to be giving AND receiving, and so I wish to feel loved and inspired along the way and sharing this inspiration as the year unfolds. Does it matter then where I will be living in March? Not really. Does it matter what car I drive? Not at all. Does it matter how much money I make? No. Because I believe WE ARE ALL supported and directed along the way.
Step 4 – Have faith and trust the process.
You will always have enough and the right people, circumstances and opportunities will come along your path when needed. Trust that!
As long as you are heading in the direction of your dreams and desires – and that you are open to receiving – it doesn’t matter HOW it all happens.
There is a greater force that is directing us to live our purpose and to support us to learn and grow. Each life encounter may not be easy, or pleasant, but perhaps it is the Universe’s way of getting you back into alignment and back on track. If you are feeling discouraged and anxious about the coming year, then maybe it is time to stop having so many ‘goals’ on HOW you are going to get there and rather focus on your ‘desires’ and WHY you want them in the first place.
For example… imagine that you want to create more abundance in your life so that you can stress less, go on holiday, work less, do the courses you want to start and have more time for yourself and your loved ones. One of your goals in the New Year is to create a new job/business/product/offering by the end of February so that you can earn a specific amount of income and pay for all you desire.
Now, what if you don’t achieve that goal? What if you didn’t reach your target no matter how hard you worked? What if your bank balance hasn’t increased?
Does it matter to you?
Of course, it does! You feel as though you have failed or feel disappointed because it didn’t work out exactly as you wanted.
However, let’s look back on your original intention: TO CREATE MORE ABUNDANCE IN YOUR LIFE.
Has that happened? Have you looked at all the other ways that you have created abundance, not just with regards to money? What about the holiday that your sister gifted to you, or the scholarship you won for the course you always wanted to do, or the valuable eBook that you got for free that shifted your belief systems and changed the direction in your life?
Your WHY was that you wanted to create more abundance so that you could stress less – and you did that. Just not in the way that you thought. How you did it does not matter. And yet we can get so stuck in the how’s of life and so bogged down by the pressure of achieving our goals EXACTLY as we planned them out to be.
Have faith, trust the process and know that everything happens for a reason. The Universe is precisely orchestrating what you need to be the best version of yourself and to grow. Sometimes, you need to get out of your own way and let things flow. Stop trying to control everything and hand it over to the Universe.
When all else fails, keep on repeating this mantra to yourself:
I let go of what wants to leave. I hang on to what wants to stay. And I look forward to a brighter future!
Wishing you a magical 2019 full of health, abundance, adventure, a happy heart, and many blessings
Your Life Transformation Cheerleader